Over and Out!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


I made it through to the other side! As you may have known, I was pretty stressed out about having surgery, but truth be told, it wasn't bad at all and I shouldn't have worried so much.


The thing I was most worried about was having an IV in my hand. I remembered it from when my mom had it when my brothers were born and seeing it when my sisters had babies and I was not looking forward to it - at all!


When we arrived at the Women's Specialty Surgery Center, I filled out paperwork and then was taken back to be prepped for surgery by Susan. I had to give a urine sample so they could confirm I wasn't pregnant before the procedure and then I got undressed and put on my purple hospital gown. It was pretty heavy and she told me later that they are now designed to be plugged in so they can be heated. Pretty cool! I got to wear cute purple socks that matched my gown and I had to put on a paper hat over my hair. Susan asked me a bunch of questions, some of which I believe were A) to prove that I was me; B) history; C) to make sure I knew what was going on in my anxious state.


After that, she left me alone so she could do a few things. She dimmed the lights so I could rest. I started praying and let God know that if it was my time, I hoped that everyone knew how much I loved them. I started thinking about Josh and all of the stupid things he does to make me laugh and I started to cry - and the tears would NOT stop coming! I thought about my sister, her kids, her husband, my brothers, their kids, all of my parents, step-sisters, their kids and husbands, etc. etc. etc. Just then, Josh walked in and saw my tears. He wiped them away, and suddenly I knew that I was going to be okay. Man I love that guy!



When Dr. Chantilis finally arrived, they began my "morning margarita" and wheeled me in to the operating room. I remember the bright lights and them moving me from the bed to the operating table and that was it. Next thing I knew, I was in a recovery room, Josh was there and I had crackers and soda. The nurse, Karen, told me that I could leave once I could hold down food for 30 minutes. I ate like it was my last meal! I was STARVING! I felt great, so we were finally allowed to go home. We stopped at my favorite Jewish deli for sandwiches and went home. I ate my sandwich and promptly went to bed. I slept for most of the day and when I woke up, I still felt great! No side effects, no bleeding, no pain. NONE! It was amazing!



All that being said, for those of you that may have to have this done, take it from me, it's a piece of cake!


Saturday, January 30, 2010
It's been 3 days since surgery and I still feel amazing! I have not had 1 second of pain, there's a little bit of bleeding, but nothing bad. I took Advil one night to sleep and that had been it! I go for my post-op appointment next Thursday, so hopefully I'll get a good report and we can begin the process again. WHOO HOO! I am feeling VERY optimistic and excited!



Also, a funny side story:


Apparently once the surgery was over, Dr. Chantilis talked to Josh and gave him before and after pictures of my uterus (um... thanks?!) and explained everything (Josh can't tell me one thing about the pictures by the way). He asked Josh if he had any questions and get this: Rather than ask about the actual surgery, Josh asked him if he could give me a perscription for Latisse (the stuff that makes your eyelashes grow)! HA! (I had told Josh that I wanted to try it)Dr. Chantilis said he didn't even know what that was, but he would check it out and for me to ask him for it when I go in for my post-op appointment. I told you I love that guy!

So, next time you see me, this is what I'm going to look like:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/b4b8bb4810/lashisse
xoxo

Pre-Op

I go in for pre-op today at 3:30. I'm really nervous, even though I know that there's no need to be (today). I hope I remember to ask all the questions I have. Ugh - I'm so anxious that my stomach has been really upset today. I cannot wait until it's all over.

THE THRILL O' MAKING BABY(IES)

My name is Stephanie. I am not a writer by any stretch of the imagination; however, I found that journaling my thoughts has helped me in ways that I hadn't realized before now. At the suggestions of some family members and friends, I decided to put it all out there for you to see. Some of the content is TMI - how can it not be when you're ultimately talking about s-e-x and making babies, so for that, I apologize. This is my/our story of how we're going about making our dream of starting a family a reality. Enjoy.

I have been married to Josh for almost two years (April 2010 will be our second anniversary) and we've been together for almost five. We met at work in 2004 and instantly became good friends. We did the "friend" thing for about 10 months before we decided that even though we worked together, we needed to take our relationship to the next level (at my utter delight!).

Josh got down on bended knee on August 2, 2007 and asked me to be his wife. I was completely surprised and without hesitation said "YES!" We were officially married on April 13, 2008 and had our wedding in Playa del Carmen, Mexico on June 8th of the same year. Both weddings deserve their own blogs - what a nightmare! - but I have neither the time or the energy for that! Maybe one day I'll write a book about it because, believe me, it's quite a story... But I digress...

Fast forward to January 2009. We began in ernest to try and get pregnant. Sadly we had a heartwrenching miscarriage in June. This was one of the darkest periods in our relationship. I still think about that lost baby on a daily basis. After the miscarriage, on the advice of my GYNO (who is AMAZING), we began seeing a fertility specialist in October 2009. This is our story...

THE THRILL OF MAKIN' BABY(IES)

November 12, 2009 - 1st Visit
Today Josh and I saw Dr. Chantilis for the first time. He looks like that actor Bill Pullman (While You Were Sleeping, etc.). He asked us a bunch of health-related and lifestyle-related questions and then he explained the processes of fertility and some of our options. I had a sonogram where he said I have a thick uteral lining and my ovaries looked good. He said he is "very optimistic" about us. We left feeling pretty excited! His link is below.

http://www.dfwivf.com/about-infertility-clinic.html


November 13, 2009 - Blood Work
Today I went to the lab for blood work to test for insulin levels. Too much insulin in the body keeps the ovaries from working properly.


November 16, 2009 - Blood Work
Today I went to Dr. Chantilis' office for more blood work. This time they tested to see if I have anemia, am a carrier of cystic fibrosis, my estrogen levels and FSH levels (should be low), and thyroid. Also conducted a sonogram looking to see if I had any cysts (none) and/or fibriods (one in my uterus, but not problematic). I will start clomid today and take once a day for 5 days. Will go back to the doctor next Wednesday for another exam. - Update 11/18/09 all tests (except CF - that will come later) came back "normal".


November 18, 2009 - Semen Analysis
Today Josh went in for his first semen analysis. I posted a note on his Facebook "Hope you have a handle on everything. Let me know if you need a hand." HAHA! - Update 11/18/09 results were "normal".


November 25, 2009 - Follicles
Today I had my follicles measured. I have 3 follicles in my left ovary (the dominant one) and 1 in my right. One follicle was at a 15.5 and the rest were smaller. Melinda, Dr. Chantilis' assistant (super sweet) taught me how to give myself the FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) shot in my stomach. Kinda scared about that... I'll give myself the shot on Friday night (Nov. 27th - we'll be in KY for Thanksgiving so I'll be at my grandma's house - ummm...yeah.)

We're supposed to make sexy time every other day so this past Monday, tonight, Friday and Sunday. I'll go back on Monday, Dec. 7th to have my progesterone levels checked. This will tell them if I have enough to maintain a pregnancy. Is that why I miscarried in June? We'll see... if I don't have enough, then they will give me supplements. If I don't get pregnant this go-round, then next month we'll do an IUI. I am SO excited and am keeping my fingers crossed!


November 27, 2009 - Ovadril Shot
I was too chicken to give myself the shot, so Josh did it. The needle is tiny so it didn't hurt at all, except now I have a small bruise at the injection site. I hope it helped!


December 7, 2009 - Progesteron
Today I had my progesterone levels checked. Below 15 would mean that I would have to take supplements, but the good news is that I measured a 20.7, which means I ovulated and that my lining is thick enough to carry a pregnancy. I'm happy about that because the progesterone supplements are totally gross! I will take a home pregnancy test on Monday, December 14th and we'll go from there. At this point I don't think I'm pregnant. Booo


December 12, 2009 - OTR
Started my period.


December 14, 2009 - Sonogram
Went to the doctor to have a sonogram to see if I had any cysts (I don't) and to count my follicles. I had 10 in my left ovary and 5 in my right (compared to last month that had 3 and 1 respectively). Was given a new Rx for clomid, but double the dosage from last month to begin taking today for the next 5 days. Will go back to the doctor next Wednesday the 23rd for a follow up. Ordered my ovadril shot for next week too. If things work out correctly, I will have an IUI on either Dec. 24th or 26th (Christmas baby!) and have to start having s-e-x with Josh on the 22nd.


December 18, 2009
Woke up having terrible side effects from the clomid. Glad today is the last day! Shoulders were stiff, saw tracers when I moved my head, terribly dizzy and sick to my stomach, and hot flashes. Not to mention how irritable I have been. Poor Josh. :-(


December 22, 2009
Ovadril shot was delivered to the house today. Had a little bit of pain in my left ovary. Back to the doctor tomorrow...


December 23, 2009 - Follicles
Has a sonogram to measure my follicles. The biggest one was only at a 12 and we can't do an IUI until they get to 20. They grow 2 whatever (mm, cm?) per day so in about 5 days I should be good to go.


December 25, 2009 - Follicles
Has another sonogram to measure my follicles. The biggest was a 14. They are growing slowly.


December 26, 2009 - Follicles
Measured my follicles again. This time they are at 16. Still waiting for the big 2-0!


December 28, 2009
18 - ugh!


December 30, 2009 - Follicles
Finally at a 20, but bad news. They cannot perform the IUI this month because of 3 reasons. 1) We would have to do the procedure tomorrow instead of the normal 36 hours after the shot because they will be closed for New Year's and 2) Josh and I had sex this morning and Josh's sperm won't be ready and 3) this is the worst part - I have some "objects of concern" in my uterus, thought to be polyps. Polyps grow on a stalk and prevent the fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus. So, basically I can't get pregnant if that's the case. Dr. C didn't think an IUI would be in our best interest given the reasons above and also for cost. We can still try on our own this month, so we have to have sex on January 1. PLEASE let it work! I'm SO disappointed. If I'm not pregnant, then Dr. C wants to do a hysteroscopy and then possibly laparascopy. :-(


January 4, 2010
After the news I received last week, I've been pretty depressed, stressed and worried. What if I don't have polyps, but something worse? What if I have scar tissue that makes me totally infertile? What if, what if, what if. I know that I'm supposed to put it in God's hands, but it's so hard right now. And I'm angry. I was looking forward to coming back to work today, but EVERYONE kept asking me about it - how did it go? Are you pregnant? Having to explain over and over again that I wasn't able to have the IUI made me more and more upset. And don't even get me started on all the stupid shit people say. "Have you thought about adoption?" "Maybe it's not meant to be." "It will all work out. I know a girl that had that same thing..." NONE of that makes anyone feel better. You HAVE your children. I don't! I cried more than I have cried in a very long time. This was NOT a good day. :-(

January 5, 2010
After crying my eyes out last night, I decided when I woke up to get over it. It is what it is. I need to stop projecting to the future with "what if's" and be thankful for the present day. What's the worst that can happen? I die. Well, I have had one heck of an amazing life - especially the past 5 years with Josh. What's the second worst? I can't have kids. Maybe I'm supposed to travel the world and adopt some poor child and provide him/her with a life they could only dream of. There are millions of underprivileged that would be more than happy to have Josh and I as their parents. Is that so bad? Not at all! So, I've decided to just do what I have to do and make the best of it. Today was a much better day. :-)


January 7, 2010 - Progesterone
Had blood drawn to check my progesterone levels again. Levels were good, so I didn't have to use the gross supplements. Will have a blood pregnancy test next Thursday.


January 14, 2010 - Blood Pregancy Test (OTR)
On the way to the Doctor to have my blood pregnancy test and I started my period; therefore, A) I am positive I'm NOT pregnant and B) didn't have to go in. Talked to nurse Melinda on the phone and we scheduled my hysteroscopy for Wednesday, January 20th at 2:30. The hysteroscopy has to be done on days 7-10 of your cycle. The procedure takes about 45 minutes. I have to take an antibiotic twice a day starting the day before the procedure, the day of and the day after. I'm supposed to take Advil about an hour before the procedure too because there will be some discomfort.

http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/hysteroscopy

January 19, 2010
So... I haven't slept in 2 nights. I'm pretty nervous about the hysteroscopy. I don't want to think about all that they might find and I'm really hoping and praying that it's not as bad as I think and I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised. Ugh. The anxiety...


January 20, 2010 - Hysteroscopy
So after waiting for an hour, we were finally called back to a room. I was told to strip down below the waist and wait on the table where I have all of my sonograms. The procedure was performed by Dr. Chantilis and a nurse. After reviewing my chart, Dr. Chantilis said that Josh's sperm was good at 127,000,000 and that my stuff looked good. He then began the procedure. He inserted the spectulum, some dye and then the scope (it looked like a meat thermometer, but about a foot or more long - VERY intimidating!). The TV was turned on and it showed him in WAY TOO MUCH detail my cervix through to my uterus. Once he was in my uterus, you could see the polyps plain as day and it was disgusting. I had to look away, and I was in a lot of pain. The polyps looked exactly like you would think it would (pink finger-like projection hanging from the uterine wall). He poked around in there for about 5 minutes and took several pictures that they printed out. He then removed the scope and then did a regular sonogram. He told me that the polyps are small, but we need to get them out by a D&C. I panicked because I thought he meant right then and there, but he said they would call me to schedule it. He said that it is a routine procedure and that I would be under anethesia. He said that we could begin trying as soon as next month too, which was really good news for us. When we were finished, Josh felt pretty lightheaded and needed to put his head down because the images on the screen got to him (it was pretty gross!). Overall, I'm happy it is behind me and I'm ready for the surgery to be behind me too. Once I got home, I slept for about an hour or two on the couch. When I woke up, I was in some pain, but it was bearable - it felt like I had done a hardcore ab workout, plus had cramps, plus was constipated (even though I wasn't). I also had some light bleeding. I took some Advil and that helped. I tossed and turned in bed, but finally ended up getting some good sleep.

January 21, 2010 Woke up with light bleeding and cramping, but again, nothing I couldn't bear. In fact, I only took 2 Advil in the morning and that was it for the day. I'm feeling better about things and can't wait for it all to be over. I'm really nervous about going under though. My D&C and a second hysteroscopy have been scheduled for next Wednesday, January 27th at 10:45am. I have to take the day off, but can work the next day (supposedly). I go in for pre-op on Monday, January 25th.

http://www.emedicinehealth.com/dilation_and_curettage_dandc/article_em.htm

January 22, 2010 Woke up and had zero pain and feeling great! Hooray!