When a man and a woman love each other very much…

What I was taught as a child and teenager about how to make a baby, in my experience, couldn’t be further from the truth! Here is my revised version of the modern day birds and the bees…

He gently shakes her shoulder, whispers "wake up, darling" and gives her a light kiss on the cheek. She smiles sleepily as he draws the covers back, revealing her rumpled pajamas.  She curls up in a ball and protests, but he whispers, "shhh". 

Gently he pulls up her pajama top, revealing her taught stomach and lightly brushes her lower belly with his fingers.  He begins to count "1, 2, 3..."

and POW!  He jabs her with a needle.

This is how we make babies.

Just to give you an idea of what I go through on a daily basis, here is my daily delicious cocktail:
7:30am  Menopur - shot in the stomach (hurts like a mutha!)
8:30am  Dr. Chantilis' office - blood work and sonogram
7:30pm  Lupron - shot in the thigh (does not hurt - inner thigh is the best place)
7:31pm  Gonal F - shot in the stomach (takes a while, but doesn't hurt)
Repeat next day for 4 weeks

From L to R:  Gonal F, Lupron, Progesterone (taken after retrieval), Menopur

Not pictured:  Ovadrel

Notice that each medicine has a different syringe and even though you can't tell in the picture, each syringe has a different size needle.  Some are very small, but some are very big...

This is the syringe I'll have to use for my progesterone shots after they remove my eggs from my follicles (sometime in the next week or two).  The progesterone shot will go in my back, near my upper gluts in the muscle.  The nurses don't even try to sugar coat it.  "It's going to hurt!"  is what they tell me. 

Gee, I can't wait...

Hormone Heaven

This morning I woke up and immediately had anxiety because today is the day when I begin taking my Gonal F shots along with Clomid (Gonal F is used to help the ovaries make more eggs).  Thankfully my darling husband read the directions and I don't have to give myself the shot until this evening so that buys me some time. 

Why am I so nervous?  I have been taking Ovadrel shots once a month for 6 months and it's the same thing.  It doesn't hurt.  I guess just the anticipation of knowing that I have to have a shot makes me nervous.  Again, thankfully my darling husband is willing to do it for me and he's very gentle and good at it (although he makes the "bring the needle down in a stabbing motion" line from Pulp Fiction each and every single time).  Gotta love Josh and his sense of humor!  :)

Another small bit of news is that Josh and I have decided that if this month doesn't work with the shots and IUI then we're going to take a break from fertility treatment and put it in God's hands for a while.  We've already spent $12,000+ on treatment and my insurance only covers $20k for a lifetime.  Maybe a break from crazy-inducing hormones and stress will make the difference...  Who knows.  It is (and always has been) in God's hands.

Aaah... time to relax and gain perspective.

Life is a whirlwind.  As much as Josh and I try, we cannot seem to live a quiet, simple life.  We are constantly on the go and never seem to have any quality down time.  Most of the reason is that neither one of us can ever say "no" to social invitations because A) we both love a good time and B) because I never want to miss out on anything. 

Staying home at night to cook and watch TV together is like one of our very favorite things to do and yet we're lucky if we squeeze one night in a week!  The point I'm trying to make is that maybe as much as we want a baby, maybe we really aren't ready yet or are we trying to squeeze as much fun in to life before a baby takes over?  Probably a little of both.

I had an appointment last Friday for a sonogram to check to see if I had any cysts (I don't) and to learn how to give myself my Gonal F shots (in the stomach) along with taking Clomid.  This is a more aggressive step because my doctor came to the conclusion (finally) that I don't ovulate on my own.  This is why I have not been able to get pregnant.  Hopefully the combination of drugs (Clomid, Gonal F and Ovadrel) will help give us the desired results. 

http://www.dfwivf.com/fsh-fertility-drug.html

This is what my new daily regime would be:
Friday 3/19:  Clomid
Saturday 3/20:  Clomid
Sunday 3/21:  Clomid & Gonal F Shot
Monday 3/22:  Clomid & Gonal F Shot
Tuesday 3/23:  Clomid & Gonal F Shot
Wednesday 3/24:  Gonal F Shot
Thursday 3/25:  Gonal F Shot
Friday:  Sonogram - If it looked like I was going to Ovulate, then I would take the Ovadrel shot that night and IUI 36 hours later.  If not, then I would take the Gonal F shot for 5 more days and then go back to see if I was going to ovulate.

It wasn't until Friday night that I was telling Josh about my new regime that he reminded me that we are going out of town on Thursday 3/25 through Sunday 3/28 to Washington DC, so I would miss my doctor's appointment; therefore, we decided to take March off.  We are going to only take Clomid this month and try on our own. 

I have been saying that I wanted/needed a break from all of this, so I was actually really happy about it.  Now we can go to DC and have fun, relax and enjoy our friends and everything the city has to offer, without worrying about shots, drugs, appointments, schedules, IUI, etc.  Phew!

This trip can't come at a better time either because last week we decided to put our house on the market while we build a house.  Since then we have been up to our eyeballs with home improvements, packing, painting, moving furniture, cleaning and organizing so we can get our house on the market before we leave town Thursday.  That just goes to show you...  There is NEVER a dull moment in the Heddy household!