The Waiting Game

This has been a pretty stressful week. On Monday, I went to the doctor to have my follicles measured and counted. I have 3 in each ovary, the largest measuring at 11x11 in my right ovary. Each follicle grows approximately 2 (whatever) per day. Once they reach 20x20 (whatever), I'll be instructed to give myself the Ovadrel shot in my stomach. 36 hour after that, I'll go in for an IUI. I am scheduled to go back for another measurement/count tomorrow. By my guess, the follicles should measure about 17x17 and be around 20x20 on Saturday - which is great, but here's what is stressing me out so much... we have to be precise about the timing of when my follicles are the correct size, when to take the shot, how "old" Josh's sperm is and when to do the procedure. It all has to be timed perfectly and I'm so worried that it won't be. What if Josh and I um... you know... and it is the wrong day and his sperm is too old or too new to be used? That happened in December and it's like a wasted month. We have to do it every other day, so how do we know which day to and which day not?

I know I need to think positive thoughts, and I am, but I'm also scared. I want this so badly. I need lots of prayers... Prayers that I can stay positive, that things will work out as they should (they always do), that the doctor's know exactly what they are doing. Bottom line, I need to have more faith. Dr. Chantilis is supposed to be one of the best doctors in Dallas, so I need to trust him and his staff. They want me to get pregnant as much as I do, right?