How can you help?

How Can I Help Someone I Love Suffering From Infertility?


If you know someone who is having difficulty starting a family, understand that they need you. I can't tell you what they need, except to know that you are there for them unconditionally. Your relationship will likely be a little bumpy for a while. Heck, it might be a lot bumpy. You must take it upon yourself to single-handedly keep the relationship alive. Touch base often, and make time to hang out (even if you have to drag them, kicking and screaming the whole way). If you have kids, leave them at home -- your joy is their heartbreak. And realize that quality, one-on-one time is far better than big, blowout parties.


Resist that natural human tendency to "keep score." It doesn't matter if you've called them 10 times in row and they haven't reciprocated. They probably don't have the strength. Like I mentioned before, you're entering a stretch of time in which you may have to do all of the work. Hopefully, the day will never come when it's their turn to do the same. But if it does, you can bet they'll be there for you.


At least once a week, you also need to ask specifically about their infertility and how things are going. I know: "Infertility" is a scary word to vocalize, but do it anyway. Maybe they won't want to talk about it. Respect that. But maybe they need to vent. Listen and be supportive; that alone will go a long way.


Finally, I want to encourage you to be persistent. This isn't a grief that gets easier with time. It gets harder. The longer they go through this, the more painful it will become and the more they will need you.


“When someone you know is overwhelmed by life, confronted by obstacles that are a little too heavy to carry alone, it’s easy to feel unsure of how to respond. That’s the time to remember it’s not what you do, but that you do something. Often, we don’t realize that what may seem like a small gesture or an insignificant act to us can actually make a meaningful difference in someone’s life. There are no perfect words, no perfect gestures. Simply reach out and touch someone’s heart. Be brave, be a little more generous, be kind.” ~Gwyneth Paltrow

Resource:
http://www.wfsb.com/health/10489743/detail.html