I am a little better today, but yesterday I was a disaster.
Yesterday I woke up so excited because I was 5 days late and was scheduled to have my blood pregnancy test. I just knew I was pregnant - that is until I started my period as I was walking out the door. Talk about a blow. I called the doctor and they said to come in anyway for the test as a little bleeding can be normal, but I knew the result would be negative.
Sure enough at 3:00 the nurse called to let me know that I am not pregnant and that I am now scheduled to go back on Friday for a sonogram to make sure I don't have any cysts and to learn how to give myself shots in my stomach as that is now the route we're going to take. I'll be taking an oral hormone as well as FSH (follicle stimulating hormones) via a shot to the stomach each day.
The worst part about this process is dealing with the highs and lows, hopes and disappointments. Month after month after month. We are now in our sixth month and I was considered a good candidate for fertility treatment. Really?!
Personally, I would like nothing more than to take a break from the hormones and disappointment and try again in a month or two, but it means so much to Josh that we keep plugging along. I guess if I can one day give him a child it will all be worth it. I just have to make it to that day.
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